Lost faith in my God
When I was 5 years old, I used to believe in you
You were my friend when I was alone, and I used to talk with you
I thought you have a power, a gift to help those who in needs
That’s what my mom told me
I used to pray, every morning and before I go to bed
You were the person with wings, in my mind that I created
And I was happy, coz I knew there is someone I can lean on to
If anything happened to me or my family, I knew I can count on you
But you never show up, I always wanted to see you
I was just a kid, thought you will come when I get older
And every times I had a problem, I tried to call you
But you didn’t show up, I am asking why you didn’t show up?
And I get older but I never stop believing in you,
When I was 9, my sister got sick
And I knew if I pray to god, he will make her well
I prayed every night, I was looking for you
I was on her side holding her hand, she was so cold, I cried inside
I prayed to you to make her warm, I prayed to you to make her pain disappear
But why you did this, you never appear
That night, she died but you never came to us
And I start asking, where the hell are you,
All my prayer and belief, if you are not real, whom I was praying to?
Now I don’t know, what the fuck I was thinking
Praying in front of the stone and some random pictures
They said you are unbreakable god
But I stopped believing in you after you killed my sister
You are not a sign of strongest or holiness
You are nobody, just a sign of weakness and a nothingness.
And I moved on with my life but secretly looking for you
I thought I will meet you in some temples or churches
So I can ask you questions, and lighten up my grudges
But every time I tried, I failed to get near you
You were just a fictional spirit that someone created
Just to bring chaos in humanities that they think their god are strongest
But you are just hated,…. you brought this but you are just an excuses
And I wonder, are you looking at me and feeling sorry for me?
But do whatever you like to do, I don’t believe in you
Not until you show up in front of me or you end this wars of religion
Coz they are spilling a blood from an innocent people
Even I don’t believe in you, I am a peace lover
If you are truly real, don’t care about me but listen to their prayer
Otherwise, everyone will lose faith in you
If everyone died, who will left to believe in you?
You already broke my heart even when I was just a kid
But now I am not complaining, it’s not a time to play a game
Just show up and do a thing that only you can do
End this wars and say you the only one, the true god
Coz if you are just looking from above, no one will left behind to believe in you.
And I have already lost faith in you…and more people will do.