lost faith in my God

Lost faith in my God

When I was 5 years old, I used to believe in you

You were my friend when I was alone, and I used to talk with you

I thought you have a power, a gift to help those who in needs

That’s what my mom told me

I used to pray, every morning and before I go to bed

You were the person with wings, in my mind that I created

And I was happy, coz I knew there is someone I can lean on to

If anything happened to me or my family, I knew I can count on you

But you never show up, I always wanted to see you

I was just a kid, thought you will come when I get older

And every times I had a problem, I tried to call you

But you didn’t show up, I am asking why you didn’t show up?

And I get older but I never stop believing in you,

When I was 9, my sister got sick

And I knew if I pray to god, he will make her well

I prayed every night, I was looking for you

I was on her side holding her hand, she was so cold, I cried inside

I prayed to you to make her warm, I prayed to you to make her pain disappear

But why you did this, you never appear

That night, she died but you never came to us

And I start asking, where the hell are you,

All my prayer and belief, if you are not real, whom I was praying to?

Now I don’t know, what the fuck I was thinking

Praying in front of the stone and some random pictures

They said you are unbreakable god

But I stopped believing in you after you killed my sister

You are not a sign of strongest or holiness

You are nobody, just a sign of weakness and a nothingness.

And I moved on with my life but secretly looking for you

I thought I will meet you in some temples or churches

So I can ask you questions, and lighten up my grudges

But every time I tried, I failed to get near you

You were just a fictional spirit that someone created

Just to bring chaos in humanities that they think their god are strongest

But you are just hated,…. you brought this but you are just an excuses

And I wonder, are you looking at me and feeling sorry for me?

But do whatever you like to do, I don’t believe in you

Not until you show up in front of me or you end this wars of religion

Coz they are spilling a blood from an innocent people

Even I don’t believe in you, I am a peace lover

If you are truly real, don’t care about me but listen to their prayer

Otherwise, everyone will lose faith in you

If everyone died, who will left to believe in you?

You already broke my heart even when I was just a kid

But now I am not complaining, it’s not a time to play a game

Just show up and do a thing that only you can do

End this wars and say you the only one, the true god

Coz if you are just looking from above, no one will left behind to believe in you.

And I have already lost faith in you…and more people will do.

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